Citizen Pamphlet 451

If you are reading this and have not been off planet you will have no need to read any further. PLEASE LEAVE THIS PAMPHLET NOW or you will face repercussions.
 
Dear 1138 & 1139
You have been referred to this pamphlet due to a recent off planet visitation sickness.
 
Off planet visits are a wonderful and dynamic experience and one that benefits the collective good of our people.
 
We hope that your off planet trip was satisfactory and that, although you are feeling nauseous from your time away, you understand that you had a perfect opportunity and experience which highlighted the most amazing progress of our own people.
 
Few pairs are chosen to go off planet and as such we want to remind you that as one of the few lucky pairs, however sick you may become, OWS is happy that you were able to join them in this discovery and tour.
 
It is essential that you keep this sickness quiet by staying firmly away from other pairs until it has passed.
 
Below is a list of possible off world side effects. Please note this list is not exhaustive.
 
Off world sickness symptoms
Nauseous
Headaches
Aching joints
Ulcers
Piles
Hemaeroids
Dizziness
Palpitations
Blurred vision
Hair loss
Water retention
Stomach ulcers
Swollen tonsils
Swollen glands
Hives
Raised black spots
Crying
Peeling skin
 
More serious symptoms*
Hysterical behaviour
Mouth frothing
Inner ear pressure and bursting
Memory jolts
Breathing failure
 
*If you find either of you have 2 or more of these more serious symptoms please contact your local friendly OWS rep who will ensure your re-health by finding a perfect safe house within sector 111NORRIS for your swift recovery.
(Each sickness sector being aptly named after the wonderful earth scientists that developed and built The Last Resort on earth).
 
It is important that you act swiftly on recognising any symptoms. Keep a watch on your partner and notice any irregular behaviour or contact with outsiders being made. THIS MUST BE REPORTED.
 
Remember these 6 rules for a healthy return to normalcy.

1. Sickness must be treated with the utmost secrecy.
2. Chanting the Collective Song will ensure a hasty recovery.
3. Recognising sickness is the root to recovery.
4. Contact your friendly OWS rep for a swift, safe and secret recovery.
5. All sickness is silent. DO NOT mention sickness to any pair or outsider.
6. Your OWS representative is there to deliver you back to normalcy and sweep you safely into sector recovery.​

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If you have any further questions contact your localized OWS answer facility where you will be directed to the desired resolution booth. There you will find the perfect disclosures to any questions you may have.
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